Love is NOT Color Blind

http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450

This article discusses a topic that me and my fellow Asian women sometimes shy away from talking about. I've heard many comments along the lines of: "I've only dated white men." But that was usually quickly backed up with: "I went to a boarding high school in a town that was predominantly white." None of us are willing to surrender to the idea that we are part of a social phenomenon that's becoming progressively visible. Junot Diaz had concluded this phenomenon in a bitingly honest way: "We'd like to think that we just fall in love, when in fact, we often fall in love along the terms of the racial economy." His statement may cause different levels of discomfort, but I don't think his intention is to shame us. It's important to keep in mind that like those black children choosing between black dolls and white dolls, we weren't making convoluted calculations when choosing to who to fall in love with. The rule of attraction is cultivated within us before we are given the power to make decisions. The cultivation theory in media studies suggests that the longer one spends to watch TV, the more likely he/she is prone to believe the social reality portrayed in the television. It's worthy to note that the theory is not talking about any particular TV show, it is talking about the long term effect of being exposed to the TV world. For viewers like us growing up in a media environment where very few TV shows portray Asian men as masculine and desirable and most heros are men, it is not surprising how our personal taste is gradually altered. While it's very hard to change what kind of people we're attracted to, I suggest that we can start the change with watching TV shows that has a more realistic and tolerating standard of beauty, and we can also be more conscious when choosing TV shows for our kids.